At the end of this, our second year of training, we thought it appropriate to look at some of the things we have learned - and some we still have to learn. We believe in therapy - else why would we be here? But we also understand that therapy has its critics, and maybe - just maybe - some of we therapists are a bit to blame (we are, of course, totally against the concept of blame, recognising it as a Parent construct, a script issue. Nevertheless, we use the word because we couldn't think of another one).
Therapists take themselves seriously, and rightly so, but Jo Public - through sheer ignorance - often has a laugh at our expense. We'd like to put that right. So here is a sort of potted guide for the lay person to the business of therapy.
Some ignorant folks ask why should you pay a therapist when you can talk to a friend for nothing? Well, quite apart from the fact that you may not have any friends (that could be why you are seeking therapy!), a therapist is trained in certain techniques to cut through the confusion and get to the nub of the problem. You have to remember that clients are not very good at expressing themselves, so an important part of the therapist's job is to clarify what is being said. A powerful tool here is the tool of reflecting back.
| TH: | What would you like to talk a out? |
| CL: | I've strangled my husband |
| TH: | Strangled? |
| CL: | Well, garrotted would be more accurate. With a length of electric flex. |
| TH: | Electric Flex? |
| CL: | Off the bedside lamp |
| TH: | You were in bed? |
| CL: | I wasn't - he was. I'd just come back from the pub. Darts match |
| TH: | You play darts? |
| CL: | Yes, I'm not very good - but I enjoy it. I suppose it's my hobby |
| TH: | Hobby? |
| CL: | Well not exactly a hobby - more a pass-time |
| TH: | Pass-time? |
| CL: | Well perhaps - look, is all this relevant? I've strangled my husband |
| TH: | Garrotted |
| CL: | OK. Bloody garrotted. What am I going to do? |
| TH: | What would you like to do? |
| CL: | I don't know |
| TH: | You sound angry |
| CL: | Angry? God, you've got me at it now. Look you don't understand I... have ... just... killed ... my ... husband. |
| TH: | You say 'just'. When exactly was this? |
| CL: | Last night |
| TH: | Last night? |
| CL: | LAST NIGHT ... We've just been through all this. My husband is dead. |
| TH: | It sounds to me, that for you, there is a kind of finality about death? Do you think it might be useful for us to explore that? |
| CL: | It might be more useful for us to explore what I'm going to do about the body. |
| TH: | Body? |
| CL: | Corpse. My Husband. Remember? My DEAD husband |
| TH: | TH: This preoccupation with death. I'm wondering if there is some history here? |
| CL: | How do you mean? |
| TH: | What was your childhood like? For example, what do you remember about your father? |
| CL: | (Thinks for a few moments) He had a tin leg |
| TH: | A tin leg? |
| CL: | OK, I'm not absolutely sure of the composition of the metal, but it gave a ringing sound when he knocked his pipe on it. |
| TH: | (Looks at watch) We've only got a few minutes. Perhaps we should return to your husband. |
| CL: | I'm not going back there. Not to that room ... what am I going to do? |
| TH: | (Thinks for a few moments) I have a colleague I could refer you to. She does a lot of work with 'Relate' I'll give you her number. |