The predominant theme that has emerged in the production of this journal is contact as a way towards cure and the importance of relationships both therapuetically and generally. Contact in psychotherapeutic terms means being there for the other person in a way that is often unfamiliar. So many of us are used to moving away from closeness or contact when we are in distress or needing something. So many people learn to 'cope alone' or have decided very early on 'I don't need anyone'. Or in contrast may have decided that their needs are too much for others and others will reject them should they show what is really going on inside.
So many clients come to therapy to learn how to relate- to others or how to handle emotional situations differently. Through therapy they can learn to maintain contact using different levels of communication. Eye contact, physical contact, communication, co-operation and negotiation much of which will act as validation for who we are, what we are thinking and feeling. So often as children we have learned and decided that it is better to keep things to ourselves. lt can be hard to imagine what it means to make contact with other people when we are so used to shutting down from others and following a lifetime belief of 'others can't give me what I want'. When as children we have been taught to hide feelings, learned that it is best not be close, and thus decided to be secretive about what we really think and feel, it is difficult to imagine how we might be different. Often we build into our psyche a learned system of ideas about what it means to have contact with another human being. The first major contact we have is with our mother in the womb, from then on, once we enter the world it can become a precarious business. We learn from our carers how to be in relation to others. That first contact is a very significant one, because however we are handled and responded to as children, will influence how we respond to ourselves and in-turn other people.
That is why it is often hard for certain of us to put ourselves forward in the world. Putting ourselves forward means making ourselves seen, making ourselves important and for many taking space and time for ourselves is totally opposed to what we have been brought up to believe. In the case of a trainee psychotherapist, there is often the added problem of advertising, promoting themselves in a public way by saying 'this is what I do', 'this is who I am.'. In so doing they are making themselves significant and possibly going against an intrinsic script belief. whilst at the same time wanting to model and invite you, the client to see yourself as important, thus they are encouraging you to say how you feel, express your thoughts and emotions openly whilst having someone there to support you, possibly in a completely different way than you may be used to.
As editor I am encouraging people to write articles for the journal, inviting them to show themselves and what they are thinking and feeling. Demonstrating their individual success, opening themselves up for scrutiny and possible rejection. Therapists need to overcome their own fears of rejection, their scare about other people's opinions, their fears about being seen as 'big heads' and so on. As a trainee therapist each individual has their own therapeutic issues to deal with as you will see from some of the articles in the journal. How can any therapist worth their salt expect to be able to give therapy to another person without having experienced personal therapy. Is it arrogant to imagine that someone could become a therapist without going through the process themselves? Sadly however it is too often the case. I would recommend to all who seek therapy and or counselling to check that your counsellor / therapist has had personal therapy or counselling and that they are in regular supervision. It is important to note that all those who work as carer's need care and if not it begs the age old question of 'who cares for the carer?'.